brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
