Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize