I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
