so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
she told me i tasted like america
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
