I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
