the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
