Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
