it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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