wat bout pragnant strippers??
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
