"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
