I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
A+ Viking dick
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
