I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
