I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
