I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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