sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
