We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I smell stomach acid.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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