I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
