I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Randomize