i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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