woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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