i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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