Your face is a jimmy john
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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