You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize