have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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