Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
