im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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