How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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