I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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