We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
