i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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