Pregnant stripper...not hot.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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