ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
