One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
