I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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