I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
