areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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