if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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