with your own penis?
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize