You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize