i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
