Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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