So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
