All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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