So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
