So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
