Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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