i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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