so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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