ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
high people should be assigned attendants
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
