I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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