Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
