I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
