I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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