I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
