Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
