This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
