i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
