she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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