I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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