I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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