when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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