its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
