i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
