my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
