too bad you live with your parents still
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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