Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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