just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize